106 in idea barrages

1.) The ignorant and the hateful, they’re just at Kamp Krusty with Trump as their distant myth to bring them food & water & smite their enemies. Their lives are crap but they wanna blame The Other & luck not the damaged system so they throw behind a “lucky” guy who hates The Other. But the slow building renaissance of Utica for example isn’t “job creators”. It’s the embrace of any immigrant who’ll work hard and pay taxes. Not frothing with hate is being a “politician” these days, apparently. Like how being humane is “politically correct” I guess. Big business looking for short-term cash & provincial bigots are what blew this game. Workers & dreamers will get it back, given the chance. All this said, less wedge issues, more wedge salads. If we can’t agree on that, I dunno what to say.

2.) I like to believe that Jon Arbuckle’s roommate is from Kansas, just so I can make “Wichita Lyman” jokes to myself.

3.) A Bowie parody about Sylvester the Cat called “Succotash City”?

4.) Your Black Crowes cover album will be called “Make Amorica Great Again” & will involve a red bikini bottom with white lettering.

5.) Your thesis paper on the current state of the American sitcom will be called “Banal Probe”.

6.) If you’ve made your bread “healthier” by slicing it so thin it can’t hold together as a sandwich, you’ve missed the point of bread.

7.) You know what would be a better term for the “rebels” for fascism that we’re calling “the alt-right”? How about “brohemians”?

8.) Yes, malls were a weak replacement for main streets but now that both are mostly gone, don’t blame my poor generation for mourning them too.

9.) Sometimes parsing between very similar words feels like being a stock broker, not making real things, just shuffling papers.

10.) That Glenn Beck’s empire is falling apart because he wasn’t crazy enough for the Alex Jones crowd says volumes about America.

11.) The goal today was to help my pop move firewood. The ground bees disagreed.

12.) The internet’s love of declaring intro/extroverts is so limiting and unrealistic. What if you’re a binge extrovert who needs recharge time?

13.) Enjoying the sound of a rock tumbler as a white noise machine is probably another way I’m weird.

14.) December 2nd is really just June 1st with the fraction reduced down.

15.) The distillation of the person 30-40% of Americans want to vote for is “Some Asshole In A Cowboy Hat”, sadly.

16.) When your ice cream social goes vegan, it becomes a tofutti anti-social.

17.) I keep expecting Meg from The White Stripes to show up in these ads for internet services that speak of their many many Megs.

18.) The vapid unoriginal Tenney for Congress ads make me wanna name a band “Nancy Pelosi and The Washington Liberals”.