928 in idea barrages

1.) Their anti-dungeons-and-dragons laws were, perhaps aptly, draconian.

2.) Whenever someone says “please hold” on the phone, I like to pretend they mean they’re very very lonely.

3.) Before you am ridiculing Cookie Monster for crippling addiction, ask youself, who am Real monster? (Real monster am you.)

4.) You’d think bankers and archers have little in common but they both have compound interest.

5.) Ken Burns’ next documentary will be about the history of insult comedy and will be entitled “Ooh Sick Burns”.

6.) The black sheep of Superman’s family was his uncle, the Kryptonian Hamburglar Robb-El who took the Earth name “Cam Hurbler”.

7.) Then there was the great wizard carpenter Alvin Doubledoors.

8.) Your French-language Brit-pop coverband will be called “Sacre Blur!”

9.) If this election were a Disney movie, this debate would be where Trump busted out his “I love being evil” song.

10.) If Jonathan Frakes’ autobiography isn’t called “Frakes (For The Memories)” I’m not buying it.

11.) Your police procedural about the crime on Sesame Street will be called “Law and Order: ABCDEFG”.

12.) Maybe the future will confuse John Kennedy and John Lennon into one man, married to Jackie Ono.