914 in idea barrages

1.) The racists and homophobes that are leading the charge from the far right ARE one deplorable mass. Deploribus Unum, them.

2.) Everybody sends their loved ones little pictures of David Lee Roth on Halentine’s Day.

3.) Turns out it was a typo & we’re actually forbidden from carving GRAVY images. If you made a dog food ad, you’re going straight to hell.

4.) Millennial Hulk is all like “HULK CRUSHED IT!”

5.) If you can keep campaigning despite pneumonia you’re MORE qualified for president. I get a NutraSweet migraine, I go sleep for two days.

6.) When Jesus accidentally left the door open, Mary had no way to criticize, being as Jesus actually WAS born in a barn.

7.) Your EDM specific version of soundcloud will be called WorldWideWub.

8.) It’s less politics, more: if newsorgs had let truth kill Trump’s candidacy as the cruel joke it is they couldn’t make money off his horrors.

9.) The difference between sci-fi & religion is often if you believe its real as you write it. If no one believes it, then its the stock market.

10.) There is so little difference between “if that tickles your fancy” and “if that tickles, you’re fancy” and yet also so much.

11.) Had there been a sequel to Whoopi Goldberg’s dinosaur police bomb “Theodore Rex” I hope it would’ve been called “TR2: Triceracops”.