97 in idea barrages

1.) Constantly refer to your love of It’s A Wonderful Life as capraphilia.

2.) The pagan ritual looked exhausting but really they were having a Baal.

3.) Donald Trump is literally a white noise generator.

4.) If I had to change my name, I’d change it to “Earth” in hopes that in thousands of years anthropologists might think it’s named after me.

5.) Your sitcom about wacky funeral home workers will be called “Mourning People”.

6.) Oh yeah, annoying “please look at our ads!” pop-ups will definitely make us more sympathetic to your intrusive ugly ads.

7.) Every morning, before enlightenment, the monk went to the well for water. Every morning, after enlightenment, the monk went to the well for water. Until eventually, he got famous for being enlightened and then he had unpaid interns to do all that stuff for him. He lost his enlightenment soon after, though, and he never put two and two together that it was probably a cause and effect thing.

8.) If Georgia O’Keefe had been a George, would those vaginal flowers still be considered Great Art or just the fetish of a dirty old man?