822 in idea barrages

1.) Nunsploitation films only sell if the women playing the sisters are conventionally attractive.

2.) I miss when people called their beloveds their “boo” because “bae” doesn’t set up nearly as many terrible ghost puns.

3.) Any aphrodisiac effect of the food will be erased if you refuse to stop calling it “groan bone casserole”.

4.) Your Soviet-kitsch rap act will be called Marky Marx and the Proletariat Bunch.

5.) I don’t believe in feeling “guilty” about a pleasure but I’ll admit I have no idea why I like three or four Bob Seger songs.

6.) Benadryl is effective against restlessness as if insomnia were an allergic reaction to stress.

7.) Consider the New Testament as a sequel starring the lead’s son, with just enough cameo time from the old star to tie them together.

8.) Step 1: make erotically shaped candles that you call “Scandles”. Step 2: ??? Step 3: profit.