Recent Movie Babblings. in The Napkin.

After seeing Star Trek Beyond four times, I realized I needed to give it a bit of a rest before a potential fifth viewing. The tl;dr on that: As a hardcore Trekkie, I love that movie.

I really don’t see that many movies. I keep saying they’re overpriced, but I’m the type of person who catches $6 matinees. So, really not that bad. To put things in perspective, last movie I saw before this burst of activity was Force Awakens. Hey, I HAD to before spoilers hit the everything. Though, the big spoiler wouldn’t have bothered me, I don’t like Han Solo to begin with. Or any of the Original Trilogy characters, for that matter.

Except maybe R2-D2. But don’t get me started how fucking annoying Chewbacca was in the 70’s Star Wars.

I joke that I like “bad” movies, but it’s more than I can’t stand movies that take themselves too seriously. So your average action thriller will probably bore me to death. Part of why I adore Arnold movies is they don’t take themselves seriously at all. And the ones that do are actually quality Science Fiction without being too violent. (And if they are, they’re comically violent rather than gross-out violent. I’m looking at you, Total Recall.)

That is, I’d rather see tits every five seconds than see someone getting punched every five seconds.

Part of watching movies is accepting the style of the movie as it is, and running with it. That’s why I could tell I’d enjoy “Bad Moms”. It’s exactly as I expected: the style of a raunchy teen comedy except populated with 30+ women. I respect that endeavour. And it worked, totally. I can see people being “but this is setting a bad example for moms!” But, they need to get their head out of their ass and see what the movie is actually saying.

And then there’s Sausage Party. I was a bit afraid it would be bad in a bad way. And, at times, it is. Part of the problem stems from the overuse of cursing. We get it, cursing food. Cursing a lot doesn’t make things funny. A douche who is a total douche the whole movie? Now that’s funny. But I will say the third act climax is just. Oh man. It’s not even a twist, it’s just one of two ways the movie could end. And the movie just GOES FOR IT. To say nothing of what you can assume will happen from the poster and title. (It’s a HOT DOG. If I need to explain it, you shouldn’t be reading me.)

Criticisms aside, I still found it entertaining. The redeeming factors were the subtle humor, the social commentary, and the HILARIOUS horror comedy sequences. It’s just, guys, less is more. In “Bad Moms”, Mila Kunis’ character has a sequence of terrible things happen to her while she appears unaffected. And when she finally lets out a “FFUUUCCCKKK”, it’s perfect comic timing.

Almost to wash my eyes out, I decided to see the Secret Life of Pets. Reviews seemed to say “It’s Toy Story with Pets!” but that’s misleading. It borrows a concept which “Toy Story” stole with “Brave Little Toaster”, but I don’t see the plot copied. Being an adult, it felt a little dark at times. Then I remember Toy Story 3. And the fact that I grew up with “All Dogs Go To Heaven” and that didn’t phase me. I mean, it does have the requisite number of jokes that will go over kids heads, but we know who the target audience is.

Also, it needs to be reiterated. One reviewer noted he’d never seen animated cat anus before. I can’t remember, either. Not a bad thing. It’s just there.

Speaking of cats, there aren’t any movies left I’d want to watch. Except. A reviewer whose opinion I generally agree with got visibly angry in his tear-apart of “Nine Lives”. Now, I like bad movies. But there are movies so bad they’re good. And then there’s movies so bad you want to scream at the screen. Guessing he got the later experience. …Have I mentioned I’m a masochist? Might still see it to see how bad it is.

And to be clear, I’m taking the James Rolfe (Angry Video Game Nerd) approach to Ghostbusters. While I don’t have the level of nostalgia he does, I also shouldn’t see a movie I know I’ll end up not liking. I was suggested Suicide Squad, but I generally don’t get into comic book movies, and reviews have been lukewarm.

I don’t have a conclusion or cohesive wrap-up. The title did say I was babbling.

Last updated August 16, 2016