725 in idea barrages

1.) Schrödinger’s Traditional Hindu Wedding is sari not sari.

2.) When you only go a little crazy, you go banana. You go a single banana. Just the one.

3.) Feeling fated to be feted can leave your heart fetid, know the places where your face is just another placid facet, find your sanity there.

4.) The fix was always in, fellas, but the aftermath is our negotiation, pick up the tatters and preserve what we can of a free nation.

5.) Mankind gets hands instead of claws or fangs, trading weakness for flexible potential. I feel the same way about words.

6.) How many BBQ joints are thinking they’re clever by putting something about “PorkyMonGo” on their signs?

7.) Remember, when you’re in awe of how broken Brazil is leading up to the Rio games, a lot of the cause is a failed trickledown experiment.

8.) A really committed barista will get “MUG LIFE” tattooed on their knucks.

9.) A parody of “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” about Tim Kaine “The Night We Were Slightly Let Down”?

10.) Baio I say Baio, turns out Chachi’s a bigoted douche, Bay! I say I Bay I say Bay I say Bay I say Baio, turns out Chachi’s a bigoted douche.

11.) If you honestly wanna know what’s on my mind: I’m imagining Morgan Freeman doing a dramatic reading of the Mr. Belvedere theme song.