a less impressive barrage in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes you just have to recite the “Tears In The Rain” speech from BLADERUNNER really loudly but with lots of extra swearing.

2.) I knew something was up with Melania’s speech with that “Four score and seven years ago” opener. I can’t help but think they plagiarized the speech on purpose to distract from the more dangerous horrors about the RNC.

3.) Since Daredevil “sees” with sonar, he could legitimately sing “She Blinded Me With Silence”.

4.) When I tease the dog for his surprising intelligence being upended by his neurosis, I’m really talking to myself and the dog knows this.

5.) Baio’s just bitter he never got that Baio’s Viaos computer ad campaign and wants to burn the world down.

6.) Is Edie McClurg still acting? She would do the best parody of those goddamned “Dump Cakes” ads ever.

7.) Okay, IF the image of Jesus in your toasted cheese WAS a message, what was the message? “Dunk your savior in tomato soup”?

8.) I’m not chubby, I’m just 30% extra handsome.

9.) If you call your vacation bible school a “VBS” I’m going to mis-see it as “VPL” and think “visible panty line?” Just so you know.

10.) The rich folks are playing Poloman Go on their solid gold phones.

11.) Nothing like a nightmare about McDonalds, corporate espionage, eldritch horror, reincarnation & the cast of Married W/ Children.

12.) RESOLVED: the most subtly terrifying accent in all media was the creepy intern on 30 Rock.