65 in idea barrages

1.) In the end, we’re all baby Superman, rocketing away from the dead alien world called the past.

2.) I am the only person who’d enjoy a remake of MAX DUGGAN RETURNS except with Max Patkin The Clown Prince of Baseball as the shady dad.

3.) Remember, it’s not that moths are attracted to flames, it’s that they’re terrifyingly confused and just keep ramming into the light.

4.) Try to perfect the classic standard pranks and hoaxes like some kind of Prank Sinatra.

5.) Your television pitch about a mathematical concept that fights crime will be called “Magnum Pi”.

6.) The end game of the memes about over-reacting to a temporary Captain America plot twist is Cap holding an Oreo shield yelling “Hail Hydrox!”

7.) Your English “Jackass” knock-off will be titled “Rude Britannia”.

8.) Funny cars aren’t funny at all, unless you find dangerous and depressing funny. Which, y’know, this is Twitter, you probably do.

9.) We must make James Spader radioactive and have him bite a bunch of people to breed a generation of super-soldiers.