61 in idea barrages

1.) They offer a thirty-day free trial but there is no guarantee of innocence at the end.

2.) The terrible thing about being human is you’re never completely wrong or completely right. It’s the wonderful thing about being human also.

3.) “Tears down” and “tears down” are completely different phrases that mean completely different things. except when they mean the same thing.

4.) What feels more wasteful than sleep? All that time you could’ve been thinking about weird things or, more rarely, doing something.

5.) Driving through redneck oblivion, a house flying a Confederate battle flag AND an American flag with Twin Towers in white instead of stars. On Memorial Day. So many mixed signals the mind recoiled.

6.) There is no greater sign of weakness than certainty, no greater sign of having no idea than stridently pretending to know exactly.

7.) You get the feeling that the guy from the Mountain Goats has a concept album about Hamlet in the bank, just waiting for the right time.

8.) If you want a great cover to a poetry book, have a Guild of Thespian Puppets puppeteer create it, my book and my friend Suzanne’s book both prove it!

9.) Hipster exterminators are KILLING IT.

10.) An incompetent pirate is often known as the pillage idiot.

11.) Less known than Fats Domino and Chubby Checker were Obese Parcheesi and Stout Stratego.