516 in idea barrages

1.) A post-apocalyptic vision of the human race overrun by Pillsbury Doughboys called THE WALKING BREAD.

2.) The way 2016 is taking away all the awesome famous people in a manner that makes me relieved to not be famous and only arguably awesome.

3.) If Harry Potter is mentioned, excitedly proclaim “Oh my God, my favourite character was Elvis Doubledoors!”

4.) I want a rapping news anchor named Walter Crunkite.

5.) Oh man, you just missed it, in the bathroom mirror I looked handsome in an out-of-shape-lumberjack kind of way.

6.) Wal-Mart greeters should have to monotone “I love you” at you with a cold dead look in their eyes when you enter.

7.) While they claimed the hobbit was brought on strictly due to his merits, many suspected it was to look more diverse, a Tolkien hiring.

8.) Lining up a few readings and writings between now and the big burst of stuff late Aug-to-mid-Sept, which is good!

9.) There they go, to the Trump magic show, to watch him pull a rabbit out of his hate.

10.) When you work at an office full of cannibals, the cafeteria and human resources mean the same thing.

11.) For Pinocchio, love is a many splintered thing.

12.) A great electronica DJ name would be “Chaka Tron”.

13.) Either there isn’t divinity or there’s divinity man can speak for or there’s divinity no one can speak for, agnostics get 2-out-of-3 odds.

14.) She lies and says that it’s in the fridge/can’t find the butter, man/she used it up on her crepe suzettes/can’t find the butter, man.

15.) If you name your band Scooby-Anubis at least you know you’ll have a bitchin’ logo.

16.) If you start punching yourself in the face before they can get a shot in they may just get freaked out & run away. That’s my survival skill.

17.) I am doing this right/am I doing this right?/I am doing this, right?

18.) Life and time will take your favorite songs away, through experiential association. That’s just how it is.