59 in idea barrages

1.) Eventually the multiplex had to fire the projectionist for blaming all his mistakes on others.

2.) If your whole group of friends intend to go to the gym for leg exercise, are those quad goals?

3.) In a lucky twist, the German porn parody of “Die Hard” didn’t even have to change the name.

4.) I can’t hear “Maggie’s Farm” without imagining Scooby-Doo lamenting his servitude to Shaggy. “Yeah I ain’t gonna live in Shaggy’s car no more”.

5.) My mom is the most amazingly tenacious person in the world. We butt heads sometimes because she taught me how to be stubborn when something’s really important just like her but… that’s the point, you know? I have this amazing gift from her and it’s double-sided but real love is double-sided and that’s the point. Happy Mothers Day, Ma. You are amazing.

6.) My life has been a process of accepting that I’m really good at a few things, okay at a lot of things and pretty bad at some things and realizing that the things I’m bad at don’t negate the things I’m good at and vicey-vee. I’m at my best when I’m realistic about both and just try to maximize my strengths, minimize my weaknesses and find situations to optimize both. It’s kind of like finding the balance in a Dragon Warrior or Final Fantasy character.

7.) Is there a version of Tom Petty’s “You Got Lucky” about fan-fiction where Captain America and Bucky are lovers yet?

8.) If you strike it rich off erectile dysfunction pills, does that make you an impotentate?

9.) Of course the GOP voted for an empty headed cipher with bad hair known mostly for starring in trash media, they’re the party of Reagan.