52 in idea barrages

1.) You can train your bird to sing a Fresh Prince song but that doesn’t mean he gets the meaning. Parrots just don’t understand.

2.) Your vegan death metal band will be called Despairagus.

3.) Create a gravy separator that works through centrifugal force. Call it a “gravytron”. Laugh all the way to bankruptcy court.

4.) If I owned an aardvark, I’d name her Erin, just to mess with expectations.

5.) The only reason most changes are so difficult in America is that our wealthy are unconscionably cartoonishly selfish.

6.) We need to send linguistic missionaries to Canada to help them understand that “sorry” is pronounced “SAR-e” not “SORE-e”.

7.) Is there a Scandinavian rapper named Big Finnish?

8.) Today is Easter in the Greek tradition? Has anyone punched a hipster who wants to make Greester a word today?

9.) The only reason erotic film uses the term “money shot” is that traveling performers already took the term “the load-out”.

10.) Your erotic British candy concern will be called Willy Wanker’s Chocolate Factory.

11.) If your George Foreman biopic pitch isn’t titled “Natural Born Grillers”, sister, you’re doing it wrong.

12.) My life, it’s like the man said after his testicular transplant operation, it’s a mixed bag.