428 in idea barrages

1.) Nothing “stars” Eric Roberts. Oh, there are things where Eric Roberts is in a lead or leading role but nothing STARS him.

2.) Trump is the Pabst Blue Ribbon of politics: cheap, terrible, ubiquitous and we could’ve been rid of him but for jerks liking him ironically.

3.) In Beyonce’s “Lemonade” the reference “Becky With The Good Hair” was actually about the two actresses who played Becky on ROSEANNE.

4.) Whenever I see Skywalker’s robot arm in a Star Wars movie, I think “Cool hand, Luke!”

5.) “You always use your painting as an excuse,” she yelled at him, “but you’re not gonna easel your way out of this one!”

6.) A documentary series about getting licensed to do strange things would be fun and they should start with a California flamethrower license.

7.) “At the medical conference, the World Health Organization is up first.” “Who’s up first?” “That’s what I said.” “Who?” “Right, WHO.”

8.) Start a conspiracy theory about children’s shows wherein Bob The Builder is actually Bob The Bilderberger.

9.) I hope Dick Cheney’s car has a “Keep Undisclosed Location Undisclosed” bumper sticker on it.

10.) As a non Game of Thrones watcher I always confuse Westeros with the Westboro Baptist Church but at least it’s a funny confusion.

11.) I want to pitch rebrandings for a new generation to the pope. For example “The New Testament” becomes “Bible 2: Return of the Dead Guy”.

12.) It’s a show where they install sex dungeons in people’s broken down cars. It’s called “Gimp My Ride”. It’s… pretty terrible.

13.) Why not just CGI in different product placement market-by-market, soulless action blockbusters? Why even feign verisimilitude at this point?

14.) When you’re at your lowest low, remember, we’re just making this up as we go along. At your highest high, do the same.