429 in idea barrages

1.) We couldn’t be sure because the thick gloves but she at least had supposeable thumbs.

2.) When someone smugly refers to their self as a “locovore”, yell “YOU EAT TRAINS?” as loudly as you can.

3.) Just as cable channels mission-drift from stated theme to all reality show schlock, so do foods. Pop-Tarts are full of damn root beer now.

4.) A parody of “Philadelphia Freedom” about Fleagle from the Banana Splits would be ALMOST as obscure as my Zappa parody about Skeletor.

5.) “No,” she protested, “I’m not gunning for a three-way, I just want to go antiquing, I said Buy Curios. BUY CURIOS!”

6.) They ruled that zombies had no legal rights to their property from when they were alive, they were non-corpseus-mentis.

7.) If you’re gonna screw up, screw up in a new way, get yourself some fresh err.

8.) Remember, when they sell you more advantages for big business as freedom, they’re just mumbling over “fiefdom”. They want fiefdoms again.

9.) At this point, I’m surprised Fox News doesn’t have a nightly petrochemical cheerleading hour called “Oil Things Considered”.

10.) Put a dollar sign before a thing corrupted by commerce. Call it a “cashtag”. Don’t worry, some tech douche will monetize it soon enough.

11.) Having the Jolly Green Giant’s love child really puts the “peas” in “episiotomy”.

12.) If you can’t accept Shakespeare was a commoner, he had to be Rich & Royal to be a genius, that’s on your classist ass, not on Billy Shakes.

13.) We can only hope that the Trump candidacy is not a sign of things to come, rather merely a farewell tour for rich white asshole entitlement.

14.) Every time you accidentally click “Moments” on Twitter, some tech douche gets his hopes up but no one has ever clicked it on purpose.