422 in idea barrages

1.) If my beard always felt the way it does just after a good Ivory soap shower, I’d be a lot less apt to mow it off.

2.) The few times in my life I’ve had to abbreviate Red Hot Chili Peppers as “RHCP” I thought to myself “Rocky Horror Chowder Pot”.

3.) When Wolfsbane and Cypher were a couple, she was Douglas’s dog-lass. Did they intend that or have I reached Peak Overthink?

4.) We would only sell fireworks and canvas overhangs. We would call our business “Oohings and Awnings”.

5.) When I am president, I will appoint the best B-movie actor or actress to a kind of B-movie laureate position called Beastmaster General.

6.) The Renaissance Faire adaptation of Mommie Dearest involves the line “NO MORE LYRE HANGERS!”

7.) A new phoenix won’t rise until its past is totally ash.

8.) I should work up a parody of They Might Be Giants’ “Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head” about Harry Potter just on the strength of “QUIT IT/Quiddich”.