415 in idea barrages

1.) Dear Viagra, we have an election that feels like it has lasted six years or longer, should we immediately seek help?

2.) Brian Eno’s contributions to progressive rock will be dwarfed by his contributions to crossword puzzle writing.

3.) If you mention Coachella to Ted Cruz, he will say something about coaching women’s basketball.

4.) Part frat boy, part robot, part other frat boy, part cop, all party - Brobrocop

5.) Your indie rock band will be named Marilyn Bronson.

6.) If Chicago deep dish pizza were invented today, it would be called “Upzza Down Pizza” and would be laughed into oblivion.

7.) If I die by breast-suffocation, I demand all my obituaries contain the line “in loving mammaries”.

8.) Determining your social connections by head shape is the art of friendology.