412 in idea barrages

1.) Your chiptune act will be called “Mario Speedwagon”.

2.) Tesla has a car named after him, sure, but died nearly penniless in a small Manhattan apartment that would now be, like, ten grand a month.

3.) The new slang for a cold is “swirling with ghosts”. EX: “Achoo!” “You okay?” “Yeah I just woke up today swirling with ghosts.”

4.) Has there been a movie about slogging through grad school called “Thesis Monkeys” yet?

5.) They say God’s secret weapon is the passage of time but I’ve started to realize that I’m mine.

6.) Not only can you no longer play the guitar on the MTV, it is also no longer difficult to carry a colour TV. The whole song is invalid.

7.) When is National Day Day where we celebrate a day of celebrating normal days?

8.) “Share with everyone no matter who they are, avoid the temptation of material wealth & pay your damn taxes”. The GOP would hate Jesus.

9.) Parliamentary procedure is all fun and games until somebody loses an aye.

10.) Former Star Trek The Next Generation cast members don’t do #tbt on social media, they do #frakesforthememories.

11.) Kasich needs to either drop out or get plastic surgery because all he does is make me sad that Shandling’s gone all over again.

12.) Before you can occupy Wall Street or Washington or city hall, you gotta sit in and scream and occupy your own damn heart. I’m working on it.