49 in idea barrages

  • April 9, 2016, 12:01 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) I wonder if those bass fishing shows have a casting couch that they cast a line off of then laugh and still demand sex.

2.) I don’t say the Yankees radio personalized home run calls are the corniest thing ever because I am a Mets fan, I say it because it is true.

3.) Saying taxation is theft is like saying the brain steals blood from skin. Without the mechanism of functional society, your money doesn’t exist. The niceitiest that allow the exchange currency collapse along with law and order and roads and stuff. Taxation is collective effort to help each other collectively on an economy of scale no one person or group of people can accomplish, at least partially, and we just need to make it better not tear it down. You were born into its invisible advantages and benefitted from them your entire life. You can’t take your ball and go home now that you’ve taken so much from that system.

4.) If I am ever a famous pundit, I won’t have a bookshelf behind me, I’ll buy that “Bearded Dolphin” sign in Utica and that’ll be my backdrop.

5.) You can kill a werewolf with a silver bullet because they are all beer snobs.

6.) The work isn’t what wears you out. It’s defending the work that wears you out. Then you have to recharge by doing the work more.

7.) How often are we lonely & unhappy because we haven’t found The Perfect when we could be more-or-less content with the imperfect?

8.) A terrible pick-up line in the mail room would be “I have an interoffice package, can I be your outgoing male?”

9.) DIET THOUGHT: Can we make strawberry ramen by deep-frying and dehydrating red Twizzlers?

10.) Moving toward some really good things in the late summer, early fall, if most or all of them can pan out. Fingers crossed, most or all of them will.

11.) Every Mets fan has to have a Met they hate and are disgusted by. Mine is Eric Campbell. How is he even.

12.) I hate how youtube people call the links under the video as “the doodley-doo”. They should call it “my sexy downstairs”.

13.) I definitely had the funniest idea ever then promptly forgot it because Mom’s dog was barking at something that does not exist.

14.) In that nap dream, I fought super-villains, acted in community theater, ran away with a woman who was a composite of many people I’ve known, traveled through time in Hollywood, lived an entire life with her and kept fending off our deaths with magic but every time I cheated our deaths it was really just me falling from one dream within a dream to another dream within a dream to not have to wake up. People ask why I am so ambivalent about sleep. Here is why.


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