45 in idea barrages

1.) So, I gather from facebook and twitter that it’s good I’ve never even tried to get into the Walking Dead?

2.) The industry of marketing movies to Christians who want to pretend they’re discriminated against is called the persecution complex.

3.) “I love the Mark Ruffalo Hulk but I didn’t get him when he was Ang Lee,” she said, “you wouldn’t like him when he’s Ang Lee.”

4.) He took all the rotting fruit pieces and used them to feed the trees for the next year, sort of a compote mound.

5.) If you ever havta write a story about a particularly debauched St. Patrick’s Day party, go with the title “Sodom and Begorrah”.

6.) I’m too old to have enjoyed the Powerpuff Girls as a kid, too young to have had kids that did so my profile picture is staying as is.

7.) According to the backyard window, my calendar is broken and it is actually December.

8.) Find a married pair of hairdressers, force them to open a place called “Till Death Do Us Part”.

9.) Her knitted pentacle scarf was a fine example of arts and craft.

10.) You could call your Harry Potter/Star Trek The Next Generation crossover slash-fic “Weasley Crusher” for sure.

11.) Structure your bar tab so that if someone finds your receipt it gets a Chumbawumba song stuck in their head.

12.) I have nothing against Rosie O’Donnell but I find it presumptuous that she believes herself a one-name level celeb. There’s lots of Rosies.

13.) The CEO of the coal company was unconcerned by the cave-in, quoted as saying “thankfully it’s only miner injuries”.

14.) We’re not allowing hate as an easy shortcut to unjust power anymore, don’t pretend it’s discrimination against you, bigots. Evolve instead.

15.) If a furry wears a lot of leather and denim, he may be known as ruff trade.

16.) Informing Rube Goldberg he had an assignment in London, his editor told him “Rube, Britannia. Britannia, Rube, today.”

17.) The absurdly rich don’t get forgetful, they only grow Aspen-minded.

18.) I still call “emoji” Emoticons because then they sound like really depressed Transformers and that pleases me.