#DescribeAVideoGameBadly in idea barrages

1.) Drug-fueled handyman stomps animals to death in desperate attempt to impress the ruling class.

2.) A young guy in a dress is told ordered to take an old man’s sword or else things could get dangerous.

3.) A fast-food chef is hallucinating so badly he ends up making your burger with his feet.

4.) Michael Jackson goes into the closet for kids, beating off scores of well-dressed men along the way.

5.) When a problem comes along, Simon Belmont is compelled to whip it.

6.) Pre-teens wander the countryside unattended making animals fight for their cruel amusement.

7.) The frog will get hit by a car eventually, how long can you prolong the anxious agony before hand?

8.) Billionaire travels the world murdering criminals with a cane, much to his nephews’ delight.

9.) Run as fast as you can to put cybernetically-mutilated woodland creatures out of their misery.

10.) Itinerant plumber solves all of his problems with pills.

11.) Picking up that pistol and killing is the only way to make the dog stop laughing at you.

12.) Going through the motions until you can find out if you can put that hamster in the microwave.

13.) Put more time into pretending to play the guitar than it would take to learn to play the guitar.

14.) Do you want to dance to bad Japanese pop music in front of strangers? Give us all your laundry money.

15.) Daring space marine saves the universe, inspiring a generation to draw her in racy poses on deviantart.

16.) Two lines. One dot. Still more interesting than soccer.

17.) Mike Tyson is fourteen feet tall and will never die.

18.) Robot murders other robots, scavenges their corpses to kill better robots until completely unstoppable.

19.) Trapped in a maze when even ghosts cannot be dead, it is only a matter of time before you join them.

20.) Near-fatal injuries? There is a discarded pizza in the middle of the road for that.

21.) Want to impress your lover? Kill a giant ape with a mallet, duh.