321 in idea barrages

1.) The proper response to “Scott Baio endorses Donald Trump” is “I honestly thought Scott Baio died like five years ago.”

2.) MOVIE FLUB: some characters in COMMANDO appear to be wearing underwear.

3.) If you wore the sunglasses from THEY LIVE to a Trump rally, it’s just skull monsters all the way down.

4.) If life were like youtube, you could steal anyone’s car and drive it anywhere as long as you put a “I don’t own this car” sign on it.

5.) Asked why there was a steering wheel coming out of his groin, the pirate replied “There was a terrible accident, please call a doctor!”

6.) Put a rotating John Travolta into a donut shop, make yourself a dunk meme.

7.) Your “Whose Line Is It Anyway” cosplay is making a Mochrie of this costume contest.

8.) A remake of Dukes of Hazard where Mark Hamill plays every character. You’d watch The Lukes Of Hazard and you know it.

9.) The twisted hanks of yarn in the backyard are where Ollie pooped out eaten pieces of his toys and the poop rotted away. Weird.

10.) Don’t call the police just because someone called you a taint. That’s more for the local chodes enforcer.

11.) God promised the Middle East to every monotheism like a shady airline overbooking to maximize its profits.

12.) They say they’re followers of Christ but they’re obsessed with keeping Middle Easterners or named Jesus out of the country.

13.) “You can be anything you want, son” then he paused “except President, because we’re Catholic so they’d blow your head off in Dallas.”

14.) Syracuse in the Sweet Sixteen largely on drawing two weak teams but wins are wins, until the NCAA pretends they didn’t happen.

15.) Here’s to jobs & fests with the decency to provide polite timely rejections instead of not even considering you worth their time.

16.) An utterly absurd parody of the Talking Heads’ “Wild Life” about wild, wild rice?

17.) If you wanna make a scene so you can make the scene you’re gonna have to first make a scene.

18.) When heck is full, the darned will walk the earth.

19.) Of all the basketball terms, “dribble penetration” sounds the most like disappointing sex.