320 in idea barrages

1.) They couldn’t fight off two eagles at once so they drugged the first to make it easier to kill two birds with one stoned.

2.) Watch a movie from the 40s or 50s and loudly comment whenever men are in hats “goddamn, the past was full of hipsters!”

3.) Sometimes the subtle horrors are the most insidious. Most agree war is bad but millions walk the streets claiming “Friends” wasn’t terrible.

4.) He rubbed the magic faucet and released the bathtub djinn.

5.) If Yoda had said “Begun The Clown Wars Have” and the Jedi just started murdering clowns, it would have made more sense than the prequels.

6.) The 80s ghosts all loved To Kill A Mockingbird because they too loved to boo, radly.

7.) There might never have been a 90s direct-to-video children’s film called “President Becky” but there should have been.

8.) Remember, when you demand an extravagant costume party, you “cost” “u” and “me” significant rental fees.

9.) A goth stoner named Aminita Mascara.

10.) The worst thing that can happen to a Lamaze teacher is dilated pupils.

11.) Frowny faces put the “emo” in “emoji”.

12.) The drunk hecklers at the comedy show were apparently all school teachers so if they ever punish kids for talking in class, that’s irony.

13.) You think Trump attacks women in positions of power out of erratic whim? Kids, that’s the man’s brand.