318 in idea barrages

  • March 17, 2016, 11:03 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) The best way to convince others that you are deep and cryptic, of course, is to have no idea what you mean yourself.

2.) To be a metamorph is a solid super power, to be a mediamorph, less so.

3.) The word “superhero” is co-owned by Marvel and DC, therefore by both Disney and Time Warner, therefore a vast media conspiracy.

4.) Wolves are just dogs that stopped pretending.

5.) The Kryptonite Man tried to kill Superman despite not really knowing the town but he was out of his element.

6.) The only good political news we have now is that much of the middle of the country does not exist, is a fraud perpetrated to sell more maps.

7.) Absent mindedness is my mind’s quick healing factor, I’m like the Wolverine of shame.

8.) We worried that the sky would fall, all this time, when instead our doom would come as no one watched the waters rise.

9.) St. Patrick’s drunkenness and college basketball gambling day-drunks must just be a lovely combo in the bars today.

10.) If property is theft and possession is nine-tenths of the law, what’s that other tenth?

11.) Drinking on St. Patrick’s is like pranks on April Fools, everyone’s expecting it so the pros stay home and let the amateurs have their day.

12.) When the nation is fully legalized, let’s form The Adult Scouts as an excuse to sell marijuana cookies on street corners.

13.) If having money is your criteria, I fully understand your rejection but if you want interesting, babyhoney, I am interesting as hell.


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