area code barrage in idea barrages

1.) Does the pope wear his silly hat to the toilet? He mitre might not.

2.) If your erotic satire of G.I. Joe isn’t called K.Y. Joe, you’re doing it wrong.

3.) Setting aside the things of youth to become an adult is a sucker bet. There is finite beauty in this world, hang onto what you can.

4.) The name “Lena Dunham” sounds like a stereotypical Italian cook yelling “lean well-done ham!” to a server in a diner.

5.) The realization that no one would want to hear a parody of “Love Shack” about Kolchak The Night Stalker is sobering indeed.

6.) Your documentary about the rise of Trump will be called DEATH OF A NATION.

7.) Had Jar-Jar been popular, Lucas was looking to roll out a series of frozen meals called Gunga Din-Din.

8.) Film a bunch of hipsters getting chased by a bi-plane. Call it SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST. Instant money.

9.) If you need to keep a hold on your parrot, use Super Polly Grip.

10.) Today’s song sung to Ollie is “fat dog, fat dog, whacha gonna do, whacha gonna do when he begs from you?”

11.) Name your band “Mike Patton Oswalt”. Do Fantomas primal scream covers but of superhero themes to cover the Patton Oswalt half.

12.) Have we started calling Trump “Il Douchey” yet? That’s a solid one.

13.) When you don’t have much space in the real world, the space in your head expands to live in, for better and for worse.

14.) When they use the phrase “start your trial today!” as an offering of a free sample, isn’t that an ominous use of words?

15.) In D&D terms the whole GOP race has been a band of low-level Lawful Evil priests getting methodically slaughtered by the god of Chaotic Evil.

16.) Joy at theft of or damage to someone else’s gardening tools is referred to as “shedenfreude”.

17.) Some days you feel like you were perfectly min-maxed to be a certain kind of thing and then plopped into the wrong game.