314 in idea barrages

1.) Cats put their videos of humans being stupid up on mewTube.

2.) Certain is a lady fair how glitt’ring means a golden truth and strides she there a flight of steps t’ward where the mighty angels roost.

3.) My blood sugar means I can’t have more than a couple of beers & no Shamrock Shakes at all, St Patrick’s Day, you’re dead to me.

4.) Look, America’s Test Kitchen, you knew exactly what you were doing when you called that recipe “nut crusted chicken cutlets”. You knew.

5.) The original title for the television show “TMZ” was “Rich Jerks Holding Coffee Cups”.

6.) The warning was similar for Caesar’s dog, “beware the Iams of March”.

7.) You don’t wanna piss off the Potato Council and end up persona non gratin.

8.) Aw man, we gotta update with the Daylight Savings Patch? Didn’t we just download the Leap Year Patch?

9.) Movies from the early 80s bring you back to a magical time when you could be really weird lookin’ and still be a romantic lead.

10.) Start a Wisconsin chocolate concern called Oshkosh Ganache.

11.) When you get caught between the moon and New York City, that’s no moon, that’s a space station.

12.) When two chefs divorce, it can turn into a bitter custardy batter custody battle.

13.) No longer couch potatoes, thanks to Netflix we’re more like monitor lizards, I guess.

14.) The gift shop at the fertility clinic is appropriately called Preconceived Notions.

15.) If only I could rap and the reference were fresh, I could do a parody of Snow’s “Informer” about casual day at work. dressing informal.

16.) Her unhealthy obsession with turkey chefs eventually led to stalking stuffers.

17.) Grape Ape, crushing Trump in his giant hands, with the caption: “Make America Grape Again”.

18.) They slipped Viagra into the drink mix of a large gathering & wrote a book about it called “The Electric Kool-Aid Flaccid Test”.

19.) You’ll never meet someone driven more crazy by having something on the tip of my tongue, ironic as I bit the tip of my tongue off as a kid.

20.) If you have to take the money to sing at “men’s rights activists” conventions, at least call your tour “Playing for Creeps”.

21.) “I hate the way you’re twerkin’, no dignity, no dignity…“

22.) Western music had all that potential wasted by falling into a bad crowd and getting married to country.

23.) Local church sign: “Christianity’s nothing without the resurrection”. American Christianity abandons Christ’s philosophy for just the magic.