223 in idea barrages

1.) The constant hype of almost-change, it’s verge overkill.

2.) The internet is our recursive panopticon, we must now all be either pure scouts or naked and proud in our debauchery. I choose door two.

3.) I want a Mega Man game where the main boss is Mega Man and you’re that jank ass dude with the blaster on the Mega Man cover.

4.) With all the celebrity tie-ins these days, we seriously don’t have David Lee Broth? You know he needs the money, Campbell’s.

5.) If Tim Allen ruins your party and you don’t call him “Buzzkill Lightyear” you’ve squandered a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

6.) Turndown service should actually mean, like, an assistant who helps you let unwanted paramours down easy.

7.) I hope the Americanization of Ranma 1/2 will eventually be called “Partly Claudia”.

8.) If you’re going to sell florally-adorned serviceware properly, you’re gonna have to engage in Pfaltz advertising.

9.) Being serious about writing means you can’t pronounce Gertrude Stein “Gertrudestein” and claim she had an aversion to fire.

10.) What kind of lunatic wants a Super Bowl/World Cup/Olympics in their town? You got a teevee, let someone else deal with the bad parts of it.

11.) In the early 90s, writing “youtube, show me how jelly beans are made” would probably have gotten you institutionalized.

12.) Lot and his wife were known for their salty pillar talk.

13.) 2016 was the year we publicly admitted “Christianity” means nothing in America other than a tribal distinction for backward-looking whites.

14.) So in last night’s nightmares, I got caught in a recursive VR loop at a shady casino and had to rescue a micro-civilization in a terrarium.

15.) A cat bed with a laptop keyboard pattern sewn into the centre pad, maybe even with a mild USB heating element.

16.) Dr. Oz invokes the word “anti-oxidant” as if it is a spell of invincibility. There ain’t no dietary silver bullet, you schlocktor.

17.) Ah, Gamera. The Dr. Thunder of giant monsters.

18.) I enjoy being so obvious that I occasionally wrap the needle back around and have a little bit of mystery again.

19.) Stab your bad breath in the gut with our new Spearmint Of Destiny Gum!

20.) A new PBS series about a doctor who specializes in geriatric proctology.called “ANTIQUE ROIDSHOW”. It’s… pretty terrible.

21.) First time using our treadmill in… years. Two sets of ten minutes, a bit over six-tenths of a mile in total. Baby steps.

22.) All the tools are at your disposal, now, if disorganized, if missing some instructions. Can you be focused (and lucky) enough?

23.) Gin is the answer to a question no one should have asked.

24.) To support Trump is to embrace that you’re one of the bad guys and just wanna revel in burning everything down because you’re not happy.