222 in idea barrages

1.) If you pirate a copy of Star Wars Episode One, that’s grand theft watto.

2.) It appears I was 356 pounds in late December and here in late February I am 330 pounds. Oh I have so far to go.

3.) No matter what con you’re going to, there won’t be enough Heartbeeps cosplayers.

4.) If you start to get the feeling you’re in a French Age of Enlightenment satire, you’re probably just on Candide Camera.

5.) I challenge you to cosplay as a Mon Motha/Mothra mash-up.

6.) A priest solves crimes with divining rods in THE FATHER DOWSING MYSTERIES.

7.) 83% of all internet neologisms were originally made up by a 15 year old to mess with her dad who writes for a smalltown paper.

8.) When Godzilla fought Megalon, I really hoped it was going to be a gigantic Lon Chaney.

9.) Mix whatever Detroit’s terrible local pride beer is (their Utica Club, say) with lemonade, why you got yourself a Slim Shandy.

10.) Do a mash-up of All Along The Watchtower and Turn The Beat Around.

11.) Or you could mash Ziggy Stardust and Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door. That works too.

12.) Arrange a Michael Jackson song in D-Minor, see if anyone gets the joke.

13.) Call your fries-and-dips shop “Frites Kahlo”.

14.) While you’re at it, mash up “Can’t Find My Way Home” and “Dear Prudence”.

15.) Or parody “Can’t Find My Way Home” about like kickstarter or indiegogo “Can’t Fund My Way Home”. That works too.

16.) The CIA agent really had to feel it to do his work right, he was a method redactor.

17.) Popsicle sticks, once eaten, should reveal a fake pregnancy test that says you are now pregnant with popsicle.

18.) The relaunch of MST3K could involve bumper stickers that parody those “Coexist” ones that say “Crow Exists”.

19.) “Fooled Around And Fell In Love” parody “Cruz Wants It To End In Blood”?

20.) To “Papa John” is to cover something in something else to hide how bad it is, in the coining case, the cover is garlic butter.

21.) At 36 I’m still trying to learn when not to take centre stage on exuberant reflex, learning by gentle prods & negative examples.

22.) The first rule of Sturdy Club is that Kirk would trade all those precious stones for a phaser or you.

23.) The urban legend about a rolled pancake that stalks people in the night to be its filling isn’t real, its just a crepeypasta.

24.) What did Nightwing say to the Mr. Fixit Hulk in the locker room? “Dick GRAY, son!”