218 in idea barrages

1.) The good news is that the entire GOP field is a dream Roseanne is having after going crazy with grief.

2.) A FAT ALBERT reboot where Mushmouth is eloquent but just really really really likes mushrooms.

3.) I draw way too much glee from referring to parts of my experience as “one of my past lives”. Forgive me this small indulgence.

4.) “Fuller House” sounds like a colonial museum so boring you’d rather skip the field trip and stay at school to do math problems.

5.) They were trying to get a clear picture of Mars but at last second they were Phobos-bombed.

6.) What would happen if a major nation’s government DID claim contact would extraterrestrials? Would its rival powers even accept it?

7.) How are there not 500 celebrity children named Abragail?

8.) Kasich is basically Pope Francis. He’s totally down with the hateful status quo, he’s just more polite about it.

9.) If you want a nightmare about alien abduction, just have a NiMo road crew with a big whirring tree cutter outside your window at 7AM.