217 in idea barrages

1.) Another title I think I’m gonna self-apply in my pursuit of anti-filk enlightenment is to declare myself a “singer/songruiner”.

2.) If you run a company called “Bolt Bus” and you don’t make your drivers dress up as Frankenstein, I don’t know what to tell you.

3.) It’s not that the groundhog sees his shadow, he is reminded the place is called “Gobbler’s Knob” & runs home to laugh like hell.

4.) (Frere Jacques) Ibuprofen/Ibuprofen/where are you/where are you/I am sick of shovelin/I am sick of shovelin/where is spring/where is spring?

5.) How many gravestones will read “was pretty good at Twitter, no one cared and they were right not to care”?

6.) “I’m offended you have the right to say that you’re offended” is worse than being over-sensitive. Just be respectful & humane to start with.

7.) dear internet, most of the time you actually CAN even, you just gotta focus.

8.) Yes, you probably ARE too [arguably negative trait] for the unrealistically perfect person you wait for. So change your aim, ya silly goose.

9.) I hope that Dr. Zoidberg refers to goofing off as “playing crabass”.

10.) The young program’s dream was to be just like NESticle, she was an emulator emulator.

11.) A youtube channel where two fratdouches tell you how to play retro video games. It’s called “BroTips”. It’s… pretty terrible.

12.) Don’t say that you have parasitic worms. Say that your stomach is “on fluke”.

13.) Is there a Harry Potter filk band that only does early rock stuff called “Elvis Dumbledore”?

14.) There must be a stoner jam band called the Hydrophonic Farmers. Maybe with like a bluegrass twist.

15.) If you chant “banjo, mandolin, BANJOLIN” three times into a mirror at night, a ghost will give you a Mumford & Sons trucker hat.

16.) Make beer from Grape-Nuts and claim you’ve made wine.

17.) Take the new street drug popular with the kids, mix it in with stale bread and throw it on the beach for flakka seagulls.

18.) Politics are a seasonal-invective disorder.