25 in idea barrages

1.) Are you in a depressed community? Are you sublimating its vibe? You may have Regional Affective Disorder or R.A.D.

2.) In the rare case you know a hillbilly who fancies himself a spy. a good insult would be “Jed-gar Hoover”.

3.) Because I’ve never done hallucinogens, I can’t even look forward to flashbacks from stuff trapped in my fat during this diet.

4.) Honesty in electronic dance music is all about tranceparency.

5.) If you’re a panhandler, I think you’ll get more money out of hipsters if you say “this is just gofundme before it was cool.”

6.) Ted Cruz positions his upper body like a He-Man toy whose arms always fall off that you’ve tentatively balanced so they won’t.

7.) Commit to the bit. Live inside it. Hope it works. Getting booed outta town is better than getting tepid applause.

8.) It’s fun when someone’s last name is what should be done to them for their crimes, like Bobby Flay.