23 in idea barrages

1.) “This medicine will help you with asthma! WARNING: may cause you to die of asthma.” America.

2.) The cat does not realize that I am slightly allergic to him and that past a certain point, he is poisoning me with affection.

3.) We were all bitten by life once & will be were-alive for a little while, except when we’re sleeping & we’re what we used to be.

4.) “This Machine Goes On Twitter And Debates Fascists” is just not as cool a sentiment, let alone a bumper sticker.

5.) Is there an Adults Day at the Utica Childrens Museums where grown-ups can go play with the toys without seeming like creepers?

6.) Oh God, Jack Links Beef Jerky Valentine Heart. Does everything have to be obsessively gendered? Men can like chocolate.

7.) Please, DC Comics, at least don’t reboot Grape Ape into Vape Ape.

8.) Double meanings: try to remember your dreams when you first wake up. Try to remember your dreams the whole time you’re awake.

9.) I’d kind of like to write a scifi story about a precog who wastes her or his power simply trying to prolong a bad relationship.

10.) If there’s a hell and I go there, it won’t take much to torture me, I’ll just be hungry forever, that’ll be enough.