12 in idea barrages

1.) Happy New Year. This year I’mma try to stop holding myself back so much, let myself go for the good stuff instead of sitting around in doubt. That’s my resolution thing and I hope it works. I hope yours do too!

2.) So if you can sell a Segway with the bar cut off as a “Hoverboard” are we allowed to sell convertibles as flying cars in 2016?

3.) The bilingual singing on Pitbull’s Fox NYE special, you know if it weren’t in the same corporate family Fox News would be all panty-twisted.

4.) Assuming that Aquaman’s wine of choice is merlot because he lives underwater is a good way to get a piranha telepathically sent to kill you.

5.) It occurs to me that if people only called Jenny McCarthy “Typhoid Jenny” even in like teevee interviews, nothing else, maybe she’d go away.

6.) Basically, I love all ladies but I love nerds and tomboys double. Nerdy tomboys, like, four times more because that’s math.

7.) Marty didn’t sick around long enough to see that his kids’ prom theme was “Resentment Under The Sea” as time is a flat circle.

8.) I wonder if I’m actually taking melatonin instead of benadryl for health’s sake or to punish myself/look for meaning in these nightmares.

9.) Let’s go to Medieval Times Dinner & Show with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen. I imagine that’d be a damn hoot.

10.) I am terrified of being The Creepy Old Guy and hope that the Artist Manchild trope will protect me from it for a few more years.

11.) In a cut scene in INDIANA JONES, after the monkey brains, the dessert course is chocolate chimp cookies.

12.) Jokes about writing a wrong year on checks fall flat in an economy so depressed for the underclass that we rarely write checks.

13.) The Ringling Brothers conquered the Barnum & Bailey Circus via a cunning use of the Trojan Clown Car.

14.) I like my beard because it makes me look less goofy, I hate my beard because it makes me look older. Love/hate kinda thing.

15.) If you’re gonna write Batman/Nightwing fanfic, you better at least have a good title like “The Long Day’s Journey Into Knight”.

16.) You can’t spell “codependency” without “code pen” but I have no idea what that means. Probably a code.