1129 in idea barrages

1.) Maybe tomorrow’s the start of a grand new adventure. No particular idea what that would be but here’s hoping.

2.) All he had left was his foolish pride but when he found out they were just people in lion costumes, he didn’t even have that.

3.) Every night we go to sleep but so rarely does sleep come to us, the little hard-to-get bastard we call slumber.

4.) A parody of “Purple Haze” about a corn field maze would be just out of season, sadly.

5.) A parody of “Dancin’ With Myself” about a dumb elf on a shelf, though, would still be decently timed.

6.) “Stranger in Paradise” about Venom the alien parasite? One of these will hit eventually.

7.) If they freak on you for saying “Happy Holidays!” add “New Years is a holiday too!” then watch their brains seize up.

8.) Amaretto, saucy amaretto, amaretto, added to latte…

9.) It took two weeks for them to use Paris to suppress a climate-change protest. We, as the human race, are basically the worst.

10.) It took Trump demanding the registration of a religious minority for his support to wane even a little. We humans are the worst.

11.) Whenever I sing along to Hall and Oates I sing it “your tits, your tits are on my lips” but I sing it very very quietly.

12.) Has MAD magazine ever done a “Blech Friday” sale?

13.) If you’re leading a group of people toward making semi-obscure Simpsons references, you’re handing them their smarching orders.

14.) Jesus was a socialist revolutionary executed for threatening the government order, remember treason’s the reason for the season!

15.) Maybe our lives are just the universe’s dreams, maddening short and shuffled, and ours are to be taken as a reflection of that perspective.

16.) If I ever start that chef themed metal band “Rolling Boil”, I’ve decided the name of the first album is “Killbasa”.

17.) Step 1: Start a band themed around phlegm. Step 2: Print up “Support Local Mucus” stickers. Step 3: ??? Step 4: PROFIT.

18.) The least cool thing in Wookie society is to be in the high school marching band. Poor poor Tubacca.

19.) All this talk of “Water Bears” on the social media, I finally found out it wasn’t just about, like, Greg Louganis’s boyfriend.

20.) There’s no one big conspiracy but there’s a helluva lot of medium ones, profiting from each others’ machinations, that’s why the illusion.