1125 in idea barrages

1.) That “I am Spartacus!” scene would’ve been a lot more interesting if his name had been John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt.

2.) H.R. HUFFINGSTUFF was the ill-conceived children’s show of Sid and Nancy Kroft.

3.) “I’m no alien, my name is… Hugh… Mann. I mean, Hugh Earthman. Hello, my name is Hugh Earthman, I’m from Earth.”

4.) Liposuction is the sincerest form of defattening.

5.) It’s not that I want to punch the PERFORMERS in the balls, it’s just that I want to punch the costumes where the character’s balls would be.

6.) Sadly PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES never led to WUTHERING HEIGHTS WITH HEATHCLIFF THE OBVIOUS GARFIELD RIPOFF CAT.

7.) When WW3’s draft comes we’ll be more useful sending thoughts to the psychic plane than fighting, we’ll register as Conscientious Projectors.

8.) A lot of porno magazine titles could also be magazines about hipster organic farm culture. JUGS. BIG NATURALS. etc.

9.) Science has finally agreed on the narrative that Earth was hit by a meteor with the magic power to turn dinosaurs into chicken.

10.) Chubby men need love too, sometimes you gotta roll with the paunches.