1110 in idea barrages

1.) Moreover, even if you NEEDED your coffee cup to underpin your celebration of Christmas, why would you need it on November 7th?

2.) It’s about Goldilocks’ time in prison for B&E. It’s called PORRIDGE IS THE NEW BLACK. It’s… pretty terrible.

3.) His artisanal South American candle shop was doomed the moment he picked the name “Brazilian Wax”.

4.) Never mistake for malice what can be better attributed to misplaced nostalgia.

5.) A punk band full of doughy guys named “Luncheon Calling”.

6.) Melatonin gives me screaming bizarre nightmares. But I dunno, maybe I’m supposed to have those? Maybe diphenhydramine’s holding me back?

7.) Committing the crime at an Outback Steakhouse did not provide her with the “No Rules Just Right” defense she had anticipated.

8.) The poetry group I’m in, the theme this week is “ennui” and… like… perfect timing.