115 in idea barrages

1.) The gorgeous can have ANYONE they desire, looks wise, so be interesting and stand out in a way pretties can’t compete with.

2.) A clown’s just a mime punched in the face for being a mime so many times that his nose is giant, his lips and eyes all bruises.

3.) If you remember using a modem, put a “28.8” sticker on the back of your car to mess with marathoners.

4.) Closer to the primaries, we should “No Shave November” for Bernie Sanders but by growing WICKED sideburns.

5.) I hope the guy who voices ALF never commits suicide but if he DOES I sure hope his final words are “I kill me!”

6.) What are you doing, exchanging gifts instead of going out into the forest for sun-worship? KEEP THE SOL IN SOLSTICE!

7.) Start an anti-MRA website called Man Fail. Do a mailbag segment called Man Fail Fan Mail. Win the internet.

8.) Ohm my darlin’, ohm my darlin’, ohm my darlin’ yoga-time.

9.) The Tour de Scandinavia bike race is all about reaching the Finnish line.

10.) A Northern Lights during Hanukkah is Menorah Borealis.