1023 in idea barrages

1.) When a monster that lives off orchestra conductors passes the baton, he REALLY passes the baton.

2.) Instincts are almost always wrong but it seems like logic’s even worse. Maybe better to go with the gut, at least get at the honest hurts.

3.) You can look inside the cocoon without opening it up as long as you have a larva lamp.

4.) Good news is in four years we can start complaining we don’t have synthetic humans to be sexy and kill in noir settings.

5.) “Angel in the streets, devil in the sheets” slowly becomes “chicken from Popeyes, KFC for the sides” when you’re single too long.

6.) I’m so awkward flustered anxious these last few days, barely know myself. Wanna hold in START & RESET on the NES of me & reboot.

7.) Honestly heard some right-wing crank on a syndicated AM radio show call for a “nationalist party” last night. It was terrifying.

8.) Someday we’ll get a reboot of a franchise running parallel w/ continuing sequels to a previous iteration. We’ll get there. We’re that lazy.

9.) It seemed like the Irish salon worker was the murderer at first but she was just a red hairing.

10.) “The office needs 50 cassingles of Free Fallin’, Simmons,” the boss told him, “go talk to petty cash.”

11.) Go to the salad bar and get both French dressing and ranch dressing. Loudly proclaim that you are the inventor of Franch dressing.

12.) I miss when if you saw the word “emojis” you’d think it would be what happened when a kid dressed all in black saw Morrissey at Subway.

13.) When you’re famous enough to do an MTV reality show but not famous enough to not have to, that’s a key point in the Cribs Cycle.

14.) If you’re self-employed, you are legally obligated to put up twelve framed photos of yourself up in the office.

15.) Instead of wailing wordlessly, I like ghosts who aren’t talking in coherent sentences to wail “Ghooooost, GHOOOOST, GHOOOOST!”