1017 in idea barrages

1.) A Steam game about frat boys with randomized levels called “Brocedurally Generated”.

2.) Start calling soccer “kick hockey”. Convince a child that tampons are “mommy’s special cigars”. Plant seeds of the absurd wherever possible.

3.) 83% of the time a prepper jokes about “shooting zombies” they mean “people of other ethnicities” except not joking.

4.) Two centaurs in a man costume. Two centaurs discussing how My Little Pony reinforces stereotypes. Two centaurs bullying a jockey. Four men in a “guy riding a centaur” costume. Twelve men dressed as four centaurs stitched together ass-to-mouth as The Human Centaurpede. A centaur in a chariot powered by six enraged humans.

5.) Miss Jackson, if you just won a lottery that demands your sacrifice and if you’re also nasty. Shirley, if you are merely nasty.

6.) The thinner the tee-shirt you are wearing, the more likely the cat is to jump on your chest with a need to knead.

7.) A Doctor Who where Clara wants to go back to meet Jesus & he’s all “He only came back from the dead the ONCE, I did that twice on Tuesday.”

8.) The Pina Colada Song was by Rupert Holmes, as a point of fact, but as a point of meaning it was a goddamned Jimmy Buffet song.

9.) Remake key scenes from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off w/ a ferret & you’ll have a minor viral hit. Free one for you as I’m to lazy to do it.

10.) If you mash enough musicals based in France together, eventually you get to The Beast De Resistance.

11.) Do Bruce Banner/Tony Stark shippers call it “Brony”? Do Hulk/Thor shippers call it “Thulk”?

12.) An all senior citizen Lou Reed coverband called “The Velcro Underground”.

13.) The realization that Donald Trump is the pumpkin spice of political figures has brought me a sense of grim determined understanding.

14.) An American who moves to Scandinavia and takes citizenship there is known as a Bjorn Again.

15.) By the end of the dream, I’d tricked the devil into turning hell into more of like a tough love rehab but I was still on the run from the Maryland cops because of a mix-up where the Klan stole my car. It started with finding a collection of minor magic items at an antique festival. It was probably due to Dad’s really good pesto.

16.) Call someone’s butt their “poop womb” and act like it’s just common slang where you come from.

17.) A sub-genre where all songs are about Elizabeth Bathory called “Beth Metal”.

18.) A parody of Convoy about Burt Convy would be my 2nd least accessible one ever, after my obscure Frank Zappa rock opera about Skeletor.

19.) It’s about Aquaman’s army retreating to the Mariana Trench to regroup. It’s called “The Fissure King”. It’s… pretty terrible.

20.) When we’re part of galactic society, fratboys who don’t wanna date aliens will refer to alien-heavy keggers as “saucer parties”.

21.) Trump refers to his supporters as “octopus arms” and as explanation says “because they’re a bunch of SUCKERS” in Precious Roy’s voice.

22.) I saw the best minds of my generation, wasting their jokes on social networks only to be stolen by people with wacky Instagram names.

23.) “Humbly” claiming a deity would help you win at a game that made you millions is the least humble thing you can possibly do.