1018 in idea barrages

1.) A centaur still eating oats from a bag on his face because he’s really lazy. He walks to a McDonalds drive-thru, they strap it right on him.

2.) Four centaurs in a park tossing sneakers at a rod in a pit, not because it’s a real game, just to mess with our perceptions.

3.) Giant living poker cards from ALICE IN WONDERLAND around a table playing HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS except the hippos are dogs.

4.) An animated turtle teaching kids slow cooking. “Suzy the Sous-Vide Turtle” I dunno. “Molecular gastronomy is a GAS!” she’d say.

5.) “Social issue” human rights are empty words on paper if we’re so crushed by corporate rights that we’ve no time or space to exercise them.

6.) Always pronounce T-Pain like a Vulcan name. Not “TEE-Pain” rather “Tuh-PAIN”.

7.) I saw the best mimes of my generation destroyed by silence, starving pale-faced, drag themselves on invisible ropes looking for paltry tips.

8.) Many math problems are sum assembly required.

9.) Labor & Leeches. It’d be a revolutionary-proletariat-game. It would be pretty badass.

10.) The fear of hunchbacks is igoraphobia.

11.) A human getting a mani-pedi next to a centaur getting a mani-pedi-pedi.

12.) They call it “the Tasha Yar cellphone plan” because it comes with unlimited Data.

13.) Hipster Ed Grimley, in lieu of the triangle, plays the shaker egg.

14.) Probably the best thing you can say in a fancy restaurant is “garcon! garcon! more ice for my wine, s’il vous plait!”

15.) The mad scientist’s only concern was fusing himself to a horse, he was totally self-centaured.