1015 in idea barrages

1.) You always have a choice. You don’t always have a perfect choice but you always have a choice.

2.) We’re these tangles of identities & needs to teach us we’re all each a little different, we’re all kind of freaks. Some never get the memo.

3.) A version of the Joe Jackson song “Steppin’ Out” except about me, Schleppin’ Out in a t-shirt and JCPenneys Big ‘n’ Tall slacks.

4.) If they made an ad “ask your Dr if medical marijuana is right for you” it’d be all “side effects may include thinking Fritos are delicious”.

5.) “I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum,” he said, “so you’re lucky I have this giant bag of Dubble Bubble for Trick or Treaters.”

6.) An important reminder: the president in the Marvel Cinematic Universe was Death in BILL AND TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY.

7.) The person getting pedantic about which one is Frankenstein is Frankenstein’s REAL monster.

8.) Owen Wilson would LOOK the part of a Donald Trump in a movie if he put on 90 pounds, it’s a shame Trump never ever whispers.

9.) How did the entire nation of Australia get together to pretend Vegemite was edible to mess with the world? That’s impressive.

10.) Kinda wanna start a Star Trek Next Gen parody account on Twitter as is the fashion at the time but there’s only so many Data/Yar sex jokes.

11.) I just realized that if Bart Simpson were real and an adult, he’d look a lot like Guy Fieri and, like, that’s a week ruined.

12.) Hall of Fame sportscasters let their Ford C. Frick flag fly.

13.) Guillermo Del Toro now looks exactly like you put Harry Knowles and Fred Arminsen in the teleporter from THE FLY and it’s weird.

14.) The neologism for sexual desperation “thirsty” used to annoy me until I started imagining it in a pirate voice. “THAARRRRRRSTY!”

15.) The fact that IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE and A CHRISTMAS CAROL are about people mattering more than business must make the GOP sweat around XMas.

16.) For a moment I wondered if Bella Swan was named after Bela Lugosi then I realized that gave the author WAY WAY too much credit.

17.) I’d’a figured the moment someone sold a Die Hard 6 pitch, the entire entertainment industry would be swallowed into the sea.

18.) “Did a cop just give you a ticket? Because that ass is FIIIIINE” is my new go-to fake pick-up line. It is just dadjoke enough for me.

19.) A great way to open a report on in-breeding would be the line “In related news…“

20.) You ever think Arnold ever gets sick of getting asked to make Mr. Freeze puns and just goes “Okay, no more Mister Iceguy.”