1014 in idea barrages

1.) Locavores only eat locally grown stuff as opposed to Locovores who only eat terrible West Coast chain fast-food.

2.) If you obsessively cover chocolate coins in a foil of gold-palladium alloy, are you suffering from white gelt?

3.) That Bill Hicks is long dead and Dennis Leary is a voiceover-work millionaire is proof something in this universe is unfair.

4.) For me, “leg day” is like… the Saturday after Thanksgiving, when we’re done with the middle of the bird.

5.) If I ever did a cookbook, I’d do it up really fake-serious and call it “A Brief History of Thyme”.

6.) A tiny drawing of runny cheese for the purposes of social networking, a briemoji.

7.) Jesus forgives but Apolojesus helps you get OTHERS to forgive you.

8.) I’m part of a conspiracy of husky gentlemen. You might have heard of it. The Voluminati.