106 in idea barrages

1.) A collection of sensible cars is a focus group.

2.) When the Devil really want to punish someone, he makes them search for a picture of someone who doesn’t look like a dork in a fedora.

3.) My favourite conspiracy theory is the one where Long John Silver’s is owned by a shell corporation for Immodium-AD.

4.) If he asks you over to Netflix and Chill Penguin, as a heads-up, you’re gonna walk in on a guy in a Mega Man themed gimp suit.

5.) Pumpkin Spice the Breakfast Cereal, Pumpkin Spice the Lunch Box, Pumpkin Spice THE FLAMETHROWER!

6.) Ken Burns’ Civil War is a frustrating watch, knowing that our political landscape is built on it still being fought.

7.) It is vitally important you pretend that you think Elon Musk is an off-brand cologne at the Dollar General.

8.) It is vitally important that you pretend you think 4Chan is a message board for fans of Carol Channing.

9.) The true test of Rule 34 is when we get around to a porno parody of America’s Test Kitchen.

10.) An X-Men story where Cable hunts down Larry The Cable Guy for stealing his name.

11.) We’re at a point where one idiot on 4chan or 9gag can post a hoax and a whole city’s paralyzed. That’s where we are now.

12.) An action hero who wields a bat he calls “The Utica Club” because it’s “cheap and causes severe headaches”.

13.) Bury suspenders & beard wax at the foot of an oak tree under a waxing moon. Chant “Mumford has many sons” 3 times & a banjoist will appear.

14.) Those dreams where you’re in your past but you start remembering everything that happened since, they’re every night now.

15.) A person possessing the quality of ennui is technically known as an ennuinie.

16.) Like it or not, this planet’s a people zoo & we’re all being judged on the tricks we can do. I don’t have many but I have a few.

17.) Two members of rival hipster groups fall ironically in love in the touching SOUTHBYSOUTHWESTSIDE STORY.

18.) They’ve even ruined fedoras retroactively, I now expect Indiana Jones to be lecturing Marion about ethics in gaming journalism.

19.) Nehi Soda hasn’t cashed in with a “Make America Grape Again” campaign yet proving that I’m smarter than all advertisers ever.

20.) Robin wears a disguise more to protect Bruce’s identity than his own, he says “I’m masking for a friend”.

21.) “If they don’t eat pork, why do they always say Ah Salami! Like ‘em!?” would be a great way to start an argument.

22.) I am astonished that Chapstick isn’t asking you to take selfies with their waxtubes and then hashtagging them as “photobalm”.