924 in idea barrages

1.) If I ever get a seahorse, I’m naming her Landbiscuit.

2.) If Chris Christie and Donald Trump had a son, he would be Billy Fuccillo. Search your feelings, Jedi, you know it to be true.

3.) If you have to laugh at your own jokes to telegraph when we’re supposed to laugh, you’re not funny, everyone at NBC late night.

4.) Since it’s weird to wear shirts with the city you’re in’s name on it “Some Other Town Not This One” shirts would sell massively.

5.) The pope doesn’t buy his jeans pre-distressed, the moment he puts them on they become holey.

6.) No one ever talks about The Existential Taco Bell down by LAX where your deepest fears are wrapped up in a flour tortilla but they should.

7.) Rascal Joust. Why can’t we have the Olympic sport of Rascal Joust?

8.) I can’t believe I haven’t written a parody of “Fernando” about living in the San Fernando Valley yet.