910 in idea barrages

1.) Someday, I’d like to be hosting a Q&A where I can say “question in the back…” and then blurt out “PARTY UP FRONT!”

2.) If you explained to Mike Huckabee that baby carrots are actually just regular carrots shaved down, his head would explode.

3.) I really dig the new Colbert show but is every talk show now legally obliged to end with a jam? Are there fines?

4.) A sexualized lady skeleton singing “You Give Me Femur” on top of a piano in a really spooky nightclub for monsters.

5.) For Halloween, carry around an e-cigarette in a really flagrant manner and if asked say “I’m a vape-ire! BLEAH!”

6.) Jeb Bush throwing around the word “disrupt” on a talk show, I expected the next line to be about the wonders of QR codes.

7.) Until it was announced they were playing a local minor league hockey game, I had no idea Candlebox was still a band and wasn’t Bush or Live.

8.) Do the Duck D-nasty guys understand they dress exactly like radical imams? Is this all a put-on?

9.) Someone make a bad movie mash-up called “Legend of Nilboggy Creek 2”.