830 in idea barrages

1.) Shot up from a dead-sleep, possessed with the notion that 227 and AMEN were in a shared universe, ala the Marvel movies.

2.) Captain Picard’s phone sex is probably just all “Come!” and “Make it so.”

3.) An e-cigarette shaped to look like a banana so you can be all “I’m not being weirdly anti-social in public, just eatin’ a banana!”

4.) I’m not signing up for dating sites but if anyone invents a pet rescue shelter but for single people, I’ll consider it.

5.) Use McDonaldland’s Grimace and Primus as slant-rhyme in a rap.

6.) If we only had footage of Ollie accidentally nut-shotting Dad trying to get up into his lap, we would be youtube-rich.

7.) The Wave is like ketchup on hotdogs, sure, let the kids do it but only because they don’t know better.

8.) I vacillate btwn lightly-lovelorn & a place in life where I admit dating may be sub-optimal. Apologies for any public longing.

9.) A few hours til showtime. Four Advil and a coffee, like a sacrament. Black shirt, black pants, neck shaved, hair pulled back, like a Mesopotamian god that really let himself go.