822 in idea barrages

1.) I’ve finally realized how much packaged condoms look like the little pips on the top of Legos. Am I the last one to see this?

2.) Pickle is Latin for “ruined cucumber”.

3.) Laverne and Shirley would’a been a lot more interesting had their counterparts been LEMMY and Squiggy.

4.) Only got cheese for your sandwich? It’s like they say in Boston, “no ham no foul”.

5.) We all know Luke Skywalker’s position on Rancor babies, I suppose.

6.) Subbing Big Bird in for Lil Kim on a rap allows for the most important rap lyric ever: “Snuffy hold me DOWN, baby!”

7.) “My mama always said I’m a doctor not an elevator” was my favourite line in DEFORREST GUMP.

8.) She couldn’t go to the renaissance fair because she was lutin’ intolerant.

9.) Rewriting “Green Eggs and Ham” in the style of Shakespeare involves heavy use of Sam Iambs.

10.) Herbalists give sage advice.

11.) When a marsupial insults you, that’s just kanga-rude.

12.) There’s a lot of profit in pimping because it’s mostly holesale.