815 in idea barrages

1.) Start a redneck women’s fashion line called “Camo Toe” and see how long before someone catches on.

2.) The sad thing for songwriting is there’s not that many rhymes for borscht. Porsche, maybe if you stretch.

3.) Whoever owns the National Wrestling Alliance name these days should’a had a show in Compton this week so they could sell shirts.

4.) Sushi in this guy with dashi… Sushi in this guy with dashi… SUSHI IN THIS GUY WITH DASHI.... ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhh…

5.) You are not catching a wave. You are not riding a wave. You are a wave function collapsing. This is not better or worse but it is different.

6.) Every year, the most cowardly man in San Diego is sealed in a mascot suit for twelve months time to be mocked as punishment.

7.) She’d only had a few lessons in Ancient Middle-Eastern Horn but shofar, so good!

8.) If you laugh with me, it’s even better but if you laugh at me, that’s still second-hand smirk.

9.) The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reboot “The Fresh Prince of The L. Ron Hubbard Celebrity Centre”, I dunno, seems forced.

10.) The fact that Arch Hall Jr never got to play Johnny Storm in a Fantastic Four movie is a loss we all have to live with.

11.) Aquaman wrote an inspirational book about his royal chariot called “A Porpoise-Driven Life”.

12.) Jason Voorhees didn’t like the term “slasher killings”. He preferred to refer to his actions as “life hacks”.

13.) This joke about a Chinese-American cop who moonlights as a mohel is too long for Twitter but the punchline is “Wong Division”.

14.) Beauty falls into substance abuse after realizing she preferred him as a monster in “Beauty and the Beast 2: Belle Bottoms Out”.

15.) Iron Maiden album covers except with Eddie Valiant from “Roger Rabbit” substituted for Eddie.

16.) The most L.A. thing was a guy standing in the crosswalk with a selfie-stick so he could have pictures of himself inconveniencing everyone.

17.) An intimate conversation about elevator music is a tete-a-Tesh.

18.) Doctor Doom is basically Rand Paul in power armor.