78 in idea barrages

1.) Ollie is both Best Dog and Worst Dog. Ollie is Schrodinger’s Dog.

2.) A CHRISTMAS CAROL gains a whole new level if you just substitute the word “crutch” with “crotch”.

3.) They weren’t perfect but we loved those crappy old malls anyway, Wards and all.

4.) They protected their bumper crop of basil with heavy use of pestocides.

5.) Hacks had their columns about how awful it is that A-Rod’s an All-Star all typed up and now they’re pissed that he isn’t.

6.) Ever since you were a kid, you sang about dying young/one day you’re gonna wake up old, singing the exact same song.

7.) A Haiku: summer ev’ning drive/fireflies streaking the windshield/beautiful horrors

8.) At least I’m not subtle enough to vaguebook. That is a plus with me.