616 in idea barrages

1.) Ever since “Phantom Menace” I can’t hear the line “the planet’s core” without bursting into laughter.

2.) You know what would be the worst name for a porno spoof, though? Spurticus.

3.) Using the indoor parking garage is a good way to wean yourself off a need for external validation.

4.) “And where there was one set of footprints, my son, that was where I forced you to carry me around like Master Blaster.”

5.) The lady chain-smoking next to an oxygen tank turned out to be just toting the tank for her mother so that’s… better, I guess?

6.) At the water’s edge/easy to stay leafy green/at the water’s edge/more floods than you’ve ever seen/that’s the trade off of unstable ground

7.) One of the best things about the summer is that the Weather Channel isn’t giving snow storms fake names for months yet.

8.) You know what’s a good insult w/out going full swear? Call someone a “suck-knuckle”. It sounds like a swear w/out being one yet.

9.) Can’t I just hit an “always read as single page” button? Then the “always transcribe so I don’t have to watch the video” button.

10.) I am not surprised the kind of psychotic narcissist you have to be to be a cable/daytime teevee pundit is sympathetic to Dolezal.

11.) I’d be really happy if at the end of all this we found out Guy Fieri was only pretending to be Italian, though.